John Luke and I just celebrated two years of marriage which is still so crazy to me! In some ways it feels like our wedding was just last week, but at the same time it’s hard to remember life before we were married.
Ever since we got married as young 19 year olds, (and even ever since we got engaged for some of them) I’ve been getting questions like this:
‘How’d you know he was “the one”?’
“What’s it like getting married young?
“Why would you want to throw your life away that early?” (yeah, for real was asked this a ton)
and on and on and on
So here’s what it’s been like for me to get married young:
(if you’re going to start reading this, please read to the end)
1. When people ask me about “the one.”
I really don’t know what that means. I mean, I do, but I don’t remember thinking a lot around that term. If you’ve kept up with me for a while, or really at all, you’ve probably heard me use the term “God’s best.” For me it just means looking, listening, and waiting on God for what He has for me. I knew from the Bible that God wanted me to be equally yoked, which means He wanted me to be with someone who was on the same page as me spiritually. The man is the spiritual leader in a marriage, so I knew I couldn’t be the one pulling him along spiritually, even in just a dating relationship. So I was just waiting on a guy that was head-over-heels in love with the Lord. But when I say “waiting” I wasn’t just sitting around doing nothing expecting for the right guy to come in and sweep me off my feet. I was pursuing the Lord. To this day, that period of time with the Lord when I was single was one of the sweetest seasons, even if it was also really hard. He came in when I was wanting to be loved by a boy, and showed me how much He loved me and cared for me. I learned a lot about trusting God then and became very content in Him. Looking back it seems like when I truly became content in Him was when John Luke came into the picture. When John Luke showed up his love for God was undeniable. It wasn’t just something he talked about, it was something he lived out. Some boys know what Christian girls want them to say, but you just have to see if their actions are lining up. Not just with how they treat you, but with how they treat others, especially in hard situations. I saw John Luke baptizing people, loving his friends, and picking strangers up on the side of the road to give them a ride. And he always had a genuine smile on his face.
I think it’s easy to get caught up in the term “the one”, but maybe think of it like this instead:
Our sole purpose on earth is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (Psalm 86:9).
That’s our goal in all aspects of life, including marriage. Then you can ask yourself, “With this person am I able to glorify God more? Will our relationship be honoring to God? Can I serve God better with this person or are they going to hinder my service to God?” And then be real with yourself and real with God.
But after you say “I do” that person is “the one!”
2. When people said, “You think you’re grown up enough to get married, but you’re only 19!”
Ummm who said we think we’re grown up? Haha, we didn’t claim at 19 to be grown up and we also didn’t claim to know all the answers. We just knew that we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We knew we had some growing up to do, and it has been SO fun getting to grow up together. We love it. It’s awesome getting to learn together and experience the world together.
3. What did your parents say?
Both sets of our parents were all for it!
John Luke’s parents got married young as well, and my parents got married at 32 and 39. My parents, having gotten married later in life, say they wish they would have met earlier and gotten married a lot younger. Of course theres challenges either way you look at it, but I think when you are older, you face the challenge of merging two different lives that have had time to set their own ways of doing things and even own ways of thinking. When you’re young and just starting out in the world you are able to grow together and form your lives together.
I’m really glad we had all of our parents’ s support, but if they had had any reservations we would have heard them out. Parents want whats best for you and sometimes they can see things that you can’t see when you’re blinded by love. Definitely listen to what they have to say.
4. Has it been hard being married in college?
I went to college for one quarter before getting engaged, but other than that, neither of us really know any different than being married in college haha. Marriage is work for sure. I love, love, love being married to John Luke, but I also don’t want this post to make it out that marriage fixes all your problems. You’re learning a lot about yourself, so it actually brings to the surface a lot of your own problems. I had a friend describe marriage like this “It’s like looking in this big, ugly mirror, where you are seeing yourself for how you really are for the first time, but you have someone else who sees you too and loves you through it.” Marriage is refining. I found a lot of stuff out about myself that first year, and honestly still am. I see my selfishness and I see my pride. It’s hard to find these things out about yourself, but its necessary, because once you recognize it you can work on it. So in that sense, it’s hard to realize all of this while going to school, but you’ve got to realize it at some point and if it’s not during school it’s during work. Like John Luke says, “Theres never a perfect time to get married, theres always going to be something going on, you just have to decide when you want to do it then figure it out.” But moving away for school was the best decision. Because everyone knew us as “John Luke and Mary Kate”, there weren’t John Luke’s friends and Mary Kate’s friends, they were our friends. We weren’t having to merge friend groups or split time between friends, we kind of just have the same friends! Moving away for school also made us dependent on each other. If we got in a fight we couldn’t go running back to our parents, because they were 14 hours away. And we couldn’t run to friends because we didn’t have any haha. Those first few months we really just had each other, which I am so grateful for even if at times it was extremely hard. Obviously we are not living the typical dorm life. We are off-campus in our own house, but it’s been cool to be the couple with a home- we’ve got people coming in and out all the time who are able to get off of campus for a while and be in a home. We may have sacrificed the typical college experience, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
5. “Why would you want to throw your life away so young?”
This one just makes me laugh! But also is really sad at the same time. I hate it that marriage has that stigma attached to it. When we were engaged people would give these little snide comments about my life being over and I was just like “are you kidding me?!” These two years have been the best of my life! We have gotten to travel all over the world and also have gotten to have our own little adventures. We don’t just keep to ourselves either. I think thats an easy thing to do. It’s important to have time together but we also love to hang out with friends with and without each other. I’ve had friends tell me we’ve changed how they look at marriage. My own sister said this morning, “Y’all just make marriage look so fun!” John Luke said his mom said one time, “the best thing you can do for a parent is to love their child.” I’ve never forgotten this and I think of it a lot of the time in relation to God. I think God loves to see His children loving each other well and enjoying each other! That’s one way we can honor Him! Marriage should be fun. It’s like a sleepover every night with your best friend!
6. How do you grow spiritually together?
This is where the triangle comes into play. There’s a good chance you’ve heard me talk about this before as well.
But I picture a triangle. 3 points. God at the top. John Luke at one of the bottom points and me at the other.
If we are both seeking God and walking in step with His Spirit, we can’t help but get closer to one another. We love to talk about spiritual things and ideas and things we’ve read from the Bible and heard from sermons and pray together, but I have my relationship with God and John Luke has his relationship with God. The best thing that we can do for each other is grow closer to God. We each have the Holy Spirit in us and when we are in communion with Him things like “affection for others, exuberance about life, compassion, loyal commitments, etc. (Gal. 5:25 the MSG.)” will appear in our lives and our marriage will benefit from it.
7. Marriage advice.
Forgive each other and learn to laugh. Our goal is to never go to sleep angry. Take the time to talk things out and don’t let anything start to drive a wedge between you. Any little thing over time can turn into a big thing. Take care of the little things and I think the big things will take care of themselves. Also, LAUGH at yourselves. Don’t take yourself to seriously. You are going to mess up. I remember one week we had thing after thing going wrong. From flooding a rental kitchen with dishwasher bubbles to me having a car accident. Not saying a car accident is something to laugh about, but we just couldn’t allow ourselves to dwell on the negative. When you’ve got something going wrong, look at all the things you’ve got going right! Just laugh at yourself and each other.
8. Love well.
A lot of the time our culture makes love sound like a feeling. There is some sort of an attraction in love for sure, but there will be times when you don’t like that person very much. I was dealing with a lot our first year of marriage and I was NOT a very likable person. John Luke probably didn’t feel like loving me a lot of the time, but he showed his love in action. Love is an action. It’s being patient with your spouse. It’s being kind with your spouse. It’s pushing through with your spouse. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Be intentional with each other!
9. Accept Advice from Older Couples
Just because we got married didn’t mean we all of a sudden knew what we were doing. But praise God we had so many awesome marriages around us to look at. We did marriage counseling with my preacher and another incredible older couple we look up to and learned SO much. Their wisdom has kept us from learning things the hard way. Even after we got married we would talk with John Luke’s aunt and uncle when we needed help with something we were dealing with. I’ve learned the importance of remembering and hanging onto the little nuggets of wisdom my mom and John Luke’s mom have said or even just something I’ve watched them live out. We’re never too old to stop learning and stop growing.
This was a long post and I could probably go on and on, but I’ll leave you with this:
10. Other than saying yes to Jesus, saying yes to John Luke was the best “yes” of my life. Being married to him has been the GREATEST adventure.
Love this post so much. My fiancé and I are 19 and will be married at 20. So many people dog on this life but they don’t see what we are truly after which is to love each other and Jesus and follow his path for us. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing this! It encouraged me so much!
I absolutely adore this post. My husband and I got married at a young age as well (18 & 21), and we went through the ringer with others. But honestly, the only regret I have is not meeting him sooner so that I could’ve loved him longer. But God brought him into my life in His perfect timing! God has used him in my life in so many ways to refine me, like iron sharpens iron. After nearly 7 years of marriage and 3 babies, we wouldn’t have had it any other way. I absolutely love my life, it can be challenging, messy and sometimes chaotic. But it’s the life that God has given me, and it is SO beautiful. Hearing your story is such an encouragement to me, and I’m sure to many other couples out there who get that stigma that comes with marrying young. Praying many blessings upon John Luke and you. <3
Wow I thank you for sharing your heart and what God is doing and has done through you this was very encouraging to hear that there are people seeking to honor God through marriage especially with what has been going on lately in the world and how marriage has been so distorted.
This is a wonderful article!
That’s a really beautiful, thoughtful account of your experience; that many would do well to absorb. All brightness to you both.
“The man is the spiritual leader in a marriage” made me cringe. If you’re equally yoked then why does the man (or any spouse) need to “lead”? If that’s how you & jl prefer it then that’s great, just hoping the message isn’t being sent that the man leading is the only/right way.
I noticed your comment and that is definitely what I used to think. I honestly just didn’t have the desire to view my future spouse as my spiritual leader until I was ~20 (and I grew up a Christian). That didn’t begin to change until God started to put that desire on my heart using a lot of Jeff & Alyssa Bethke’s older Q&A videos. I’d definitely recommend any of their writings and especially the older videos on his youtube channel (https://www.youtube.com/user/bball1989/featured). I hope that helps! <3
I’d encourage you to check out the Christian Biblical Egalitarian website. Christians are called to be submissive to each other- it isn’t one way like many make it seem. And believing that a man is your spiritual leader or that you must practice one-way submission to him is not necessarily the only way (or even the right way) to interpret what the Bible says about marriage.
Dear Rachel and Sydney, the Bible is explicit about the man being the spiritual leader in the home. Mary Kate is absolutely correct to believe and teach this as the model for a Christian marriage. It goes back to the Garden of Eden when Eve fell to temptation first. The husband was given authority over his wife and family. Plus, Adam was created first and Eve was brought as a helpmeet for Adam. The husband is to lead and nurture his wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church. Naturally, a godly husband will lead in love and compassion. This isn’t to say we aren’t created equally, but God has established people to be in charge in every segment of human society, the family included. The New Testament refers to this over and over, that the husband must lead spiritually. To suggest otherwise is doing a great disservice to young couples seeking God’s best in their marriage. Please think about this. Thanks!
equally yoked in the Bible with liked mined believers. It’s stated Be ye not yoked together with unbelievers.
Thank you SO much for pointing this out. I see a ton of push back to your comments above too, and want you to know that I really think it is important that you pointed out the fact that the man does not have to be the spiritual leader in the relationship. For others who are pushing back on Rachel’s comment, you should check out the Center for Bible Equality, which takes an egalitarian approach to gender.
Also, wanted to point out that this issue is one that doesn’t need to divide us, but that we can have different viewpoints and still work together, in and as the body of Christ.
Hi Rachel! So, what she is trying to say about the man being the spiritual leader in a relationship is laid out perfectly in Ephesians 5. And also, being “equally-yoked” does not mean having the same roles in a relationship just that one should not be trying harder than the other. Hope this helped clarify some things:)
Happy for y’all and many blessings for years to come. Keep God first and your marriage will thrive ❣️
I loved loved loved reading this, it helped me realize some of my own battles that my boyfriend and I deal with. Today is our five year anniversary and I love him dearly. We have been together since I was 15 and he was 17 and are now getting ready to graduate from college in May! Though we havn’t taken the step to marriage sometimes it feels like it when our actions and decisions are based on each other. A lot of people ask me the same questions you are asked and its so easy for me to be like well you’re right, I am young and there are a million other people, but I love what you said about is this person going to help you be closer to god. He grew up in a religious household and I didn’t, though other family members would take me to services I always loved being apart of the church and there listening to God’s words. Right now him and I trying to make more room for god in our relationship and I think that can be hard when we don’t know where to start. Reading this makes me just want to run to our church and talk to somone and I think I am going to do that today! So thank you for sharing this! You are such a beautiful gal inside and out and your’s, john lukes and god’s relationship is oh so sweet.
Hello Mary Kate!
I just want to let you know, I seriously admire what you posted. This is something I seriously needed. I am 18 and going into college. I have never been in a relationship but I have always wanted one and I’ve struggled with myself for never being in one. God for sure had kept reminding me that I am His and that I am enough. I have met someone going to my school that I started to grow feelings for and vice versa. I went to my last church camp ever, and God spoke to me. I had been dealing with something from my past that was finally all lifted from my shoulders. I have no guilt or shame anymore. God also just let me know that a relationship right now is not what I need in my life. That I still need to wait. This was hard for me. I finally was accepted by a God-fearing man, but this guy was so understanding. He made that process so much easier then I expected to go. Praise God! Anyway, this blog really helped. I’m sorry my reply was so long, I just wanted to let you know you have impacted a young lady like me! Thank you for being a Christian role model in the midst of sinners. It allows people like me to know it can be done. God bless!
Katie! I randomly read your comment and it just pulled on my heart because my story is exactly like yours! I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 20 (last year) but up until then I had been so upset and questioned why I didn’t have a boyfriend yet especially when everyone I knew was shocked I was single. But let me tell you IT IS WORTH THE WAIT!! Even though my first boyfriend and I are no longer together I am so blessed to have had him in my life. He loved me and served me like I didn’t think anyone would want to and he showed me just a glimpse of how much God loves me and wants to serve me. So, I know it’s hard to wait but PURSUE GOD! If you’re ever feeling down about being single I encourage you to watch Ben Stewart from Breakaway’s podcast about singleness and how amazing it is. Katie, I don’t know you but you’re my sister in Christ and YOU DESERVE THE BEST in life so please wait for it (but girl I know it’s hard)!! Praying for your best. <3
So good to read you 2’s comments! I’m turning 20 next Monday and have never been in a relationship even though I desire it greatly and have done so for years. But I don’t want to do life my way, but God’s way, so I continue to trust God even though it’s hard. ALSO I tried to search for that podcast, but I can’t find it. Can you maybe link it?
I’m 19, my boyfriends 22. 8 months in and I know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him. Marriage is coming soon for us and I couldn’t be more excited.
I admire you guys for marrying so young! God is always at the center.❤️
Thanks so much for this post! I’ve been confronted with so many similar questions and I couldn’t have answered them any better then you did here!
I just want to say that this is beautiful. And I’ve watched John Luke and his family on tv since they very first aired and seeing him and his family grow was awesome! But also I have my own love and we’ve been together for awhile now and the thought of marriage has been on he table but I was scared of what people would say and think and everything else that I just pushed it away but after reading this it’s really made me think! So just wanted to say thank you! Wish you two a life full of love faith and happiness!
Seriously, I LOVE everything about you Mary Kate! You give so much wonderful and Godly insight and wisdom. Such an inspiration. My husband and I are also 21 and got married on the exact same day as you and John Luke did as well! June 27, 2015 ❤️ It’s so amazing to be able to read your blog posts and see a little bit of your lives that you share with us through pictures. I totally connect with everything you wrote about in this particular post since we got married so young! It’s definitely difficult at times but my husband is my best friend and I love the journey through life we’re taking together and it just makes it all the better living through the Lord’s plans for our lives! God bless you and your family ?
This is beautiful. From someone who also married what is considered young, you hit everything right on. Every thought that comes to my mind about marriage is this.
This post is full of wise words, hopeful encouragement, and joyful reflections! I always love reading your posts, Mary Kate!
Loved this post!! Makes me hopeful for when God sends me my future husband. I pray that I will be prepared and reminded of your words! Thank you for sharing
I enjoyed your honest post. I myself got married at 19 too. It has been a learning adventure. Seeing the ugly and beauty has been difficult and pleasant. Love is an action. Thank you for the sweet encouagement .
We were married at 19 as well, and are getting ready to celebrate 17 years. We heard a lot of the same things. In the midst of everyone’s negative comments about us getting married so young my best friend said “Well, if there is any two people that can do it, it’s you guys!” It stuck with me because it meant so much and was probably the only positive thing we had heard. You seem so much wiser than we were. Lol ? So happy for you both!
What a perfect picture of how Jesus loves. Definitely needed this!
I have a boyfriend right now and we are both young but 5, almost 6, years apart. He has led me spiritually and loved me so so well. I am preparing myself for questions like this from people and you have answered and helped with so many. Thank you! Also, your flower crown and flowers were GORGEOUS ?
I love!! My husband and I got married right before y’all and we were both 19 too. Great advice
This is truly an amazing post filled with lots of useful advice, a lot to take into consideration and a lot to learn from. In my walk with Jesus it has not always been a bed of roses, sometimes I fall short and I beat myself up about it and sometimes I take that frustration out on my relationship and start to question my partner. Thank you for this I believe God wanted me to read this especially with how I’m feeling in my life at the moment.
This is one AWESOME post!
I love how God loves us soooo much that He wants to give us the best of the best, you explained that so perfectly! I absolutely love your wedding dress!
Thank you Mary Kate! I get married in a week and in all the wedding prep and stress, I’m glad I got to slow down and read this! Thank you for being real and vulnerable, sharing the ugly as well as the good. Keep on keeping on, shining that light for Jesus.
This is so beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing these things. I suppose one other thing I would ask is if finances have ever been a problem? What do you do about getting married young and not having an income to support you since you’re both studying?
I absolutely love this!! I want to get married young but my parents are not crazy about it. I so admire you guys.
Love love love this! Very well said. So happy for you two! ?
YES GIRL ????
Got married about 7 months after you did & I was 20 at the time (22 now) February will be 2 years of marriage for me & my husband!
It has been really tough at times but just like you, saying yes to my husband was the best decision.
Living life with him is the greatest adventure.
I related to this post to a T.
My husband & I were just married in May. I’m 20 now & was 19 at the time. We relate so well to this post & are so grateful for your willingness to speaking this truth to your followers! Marriage is beautiful & our generation is blessed by your example. Your words are very, very encouraging Mary Kate!
Love this. My husband and I have been together since high school, engaged through college (promise to his Grandma), and now married for over a year and will be welcoming our baby girl in November. You’re right on growing up together and growing/building together. A lot of people I’ve known have asked me how we’re able to make it work and do we feel like we are throwing away our lives so early. I simply respond with we communicate and let one another Know our fears, worries, and our dreams. Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s like you said, as long as God is in the center it’s possible. Thank you for the post. It was a great read. ?
Love this post!! Thank you for showing us what marriage was really intended to be a n the first place! You guys are a great example for so many ❤
Love. Love. Love!! I got married at 22 and just recently celebrated 2 years as well! Growing together spiritually & as a couple has been the most fun.
Hi Mary Kate,
I am madly in love with Jesus, and I have been so blessed by the relationship I share with my boyfriend. We are starting college and have talked about marriage soon (we aren’t engaged yet, but we would be considered “young”). We have sought counsel from our church family (in fact, his dad is my pastor!) My parents are the only couple who abhor the idea. Of course, this has broken my heart, as I want to honor them in my actions. I am just torn because I have no doubt God is calling me to honor the institution of marriage and not hold back because I need to “find myslef.” I am heartbroken yet I am filled with the peace and promises of Jesus. I guess I don’t really need any advice, but I could use prayer! I know Jack (my boyfriend) will be my husband, and I am prepared for the warning Jesus gave that sometimes, families are divided when parents are passive in their faith. Thank you for your encouragement!
This is amazing to read and so helpful for where I am in like right now. Mary Kate, you are an inspiration to me in so many aspects of life!
Loved this! My husband and I were both 21 when we got married and everyone had an opinion. We had our group of friends and immediate family who were supportive but everyone else had rude comments. Even now after almost bring married a year we still get comments on how its gonna end in divorce because we are so young. I love being married. It is the hardest yet best adventure!
Thank you so much for the wisdom, Mary Kate!! God bless you.
My momma said once that love is a decision. You decide to love that person, no matter what. I love that Mary Kate took the time to write this. She’s very wise. That doesn’t mean she has all the answers, but she knows He does. The best marital advice I was given, besides “decide to love,” was that during tough times, turn to God, and then each other.
This is the best article I’ve read. My boyfriend and I have talked about getting married and we’ll be 20. Lots of people have said they think it’s the wrong decision, we’re too young, and we’re throwing our lives away, but that’s not how we look at it and I personally think it will be the best decision made in my life second to accepting Christ.
Started dating at 15, married at 20, and still happily married 17 years later. God as the center is the key.
My husband and I were married at 19 and were married for 57 years before he went to be with the Lord. He is the one who led me to the Lord and was the spiritual head of our home. There were rough years but divorce was never an option, commitment was. Stay strong in your love for the Lord and you will remain close.
I was nodding my head while reading your entire post. Love it girl! You hit the nail right on the head! I’m so glad you have confidence and can share your wisdom. It can be hard to take criticism when it becomes constant. My husband and I graduated from LU the year you guys started and got married very young (I was 21, he was 20) in May 2015. Many people had their opinions but we are so happy with our choice. We have a daughter now who is 6 months. Many people will have opinions on an acceptable time to have children too! But I’m thankful you and John Luke are firm in your faith and these comments do not cause you to try and change your lifestyle to please others. Congratulations on 2 years!! How exciting!!! You two are precious. I have loved watching your journey!!
So sweet <3
This was really inspiring, thank you! I’ve never read any of your posts before and I really needed this one.
My question is, what advice do you have for living a fruitful, single life? You mentioned earlier in the article that being single was a sweet season because you learned to pursue the Lord. How did you do that?
I’m not the type of person who usually comments on posts/blogs/pictures, but I just wanted to say this post touched me and it was something I really needed to read. Thank you 🙂
Love love love everything said here.
I’m so happy I stumbled across this post. My best friend/boyfriend and I are 18 and we plan to spend the rest of our lives together. Starting life off together so young is highly frowned upon in both of our families. But reading this and being able to look up to Mary Kate and John Luke has inspired us to create a stronger relationship with God and let him guide us!
My husband and I also married 2 years ago, at 19! And I totally agree with everything you said! Marriage is amazing ❤️
My husband and I got married when we were both 20, and we’ve been married 16 years now! It’s fun to look back at our wedding pictures and see our baby faces. Lol Marriage is hard at times, but when there is a commitment and determination to never give up, the depth of love cannot be explained. It’s so worth it. God bless your marriage with many more years!
Absolutely loved reading this, Mary Kate! You give all the glory to God and live with such joy- I adore that about you. Thank you for your words! <3
I really enjoyed reading your story. I can relate to so much of what you and John Luke have experienced. My husband and I got married when we were 19 & 20 years old. We have now been married for over 34 years!!! It has not always been easy. We both came from divorced families but we both knew that we were the ones who wanted to break that cycle and have a loving home for our children. God has blessed us with one Son and one Granddaughter. I love that we got married young enough to grow up together with each other and with our son. We are young Grandparents and we have our Granddaughter at our house every day after school and on every weekend!!! Life just couldn’t be any better. We are not rich by no means, but we are wealthy in love, very happy, and very content!! We are blessed by the best!!! There is a quote that states the following: You can’t put an old head on young shoulders!! I think there is one exemption….you ???. You are wise beyond your years and you use that wisdom to help others ??? Many blessings to you and John Luke ?????????
My husband and I got married at 19 & 20 and we just celebrated 30 years this week! And God at the center is the key! God Bless!
My wife and I married when I had just turned 19 and she was 17. We have now been married for 20 years and love each other more and more each day. Marriage requires sacrifice, no matter what age the couple marries. Thank you for the post!
Thank you so much for sharing this! My husband and I got married when he was 19 and I was four days short of my 19th birthday. Every time I see one of your posts, I tell my husband you and I could be best friends haha! Our stories are so similar and I completely share your outlook on marriage and so many other aspects of our Christian life! Thank you for encouraging me and making me feel like I have someone who shares so much of what I’ve been through!
I love this post Mary Kate! ?? You explained everything perfectly, as so completely understand your point of view getting married at 21!! Also, just wanted to let you know your honesty and vulnerability on every post you write is so refreshing and encouraging! I always look forward to your posts!
I love this! I think that getting married young is awesome! I totally agree with everything you said (even though I’m not married haha). And our culture definitely portrays love as a feeling, but it’s so much more than that, and you and John Luke show that in your marriage!
This is awesome! My husband and I got married a little over 6 months before you and John Luke at the age of 22, but our stories are very similar. Thank you for sharing you heart and being so transparent in the lessons God has taught you guys along the way and is continuing to teach you. Not to mention speaking out against the what the world teaches about marriage and the fear that I believe is instilled with commiting your life to live in love and glorify the father through that.
My boyfriend and I (going on 2 years) have prayed about if within the next year or 2 if it’s God’s will for us to get married. This is such an encouraging post just to peek into the lives that living young married. It’s a beautiful picture of the gospel because that is exactly what bibical marriage should be! And I’m not saying this post solved the mystery but it made me realize that God’s intentions are way more and important than our own. Thank you so being so honest and authentic.
Love this Mary Kate! My husband, Marshal, and I got married at 19 and both go to LU! I can relate so much of this post. Definitely that part about working through things; our families live 7 hours away and we didn’t have any friends so we had to work it out! Marriage is a lot like having a sleepover with your best friend every night. So many adventures! I had a lot of questions too and wrote the 10 best things about getting married young on my blog! Love having people to relate to! <3
I love, love, love this! & it helps me out so much!!!
Ahh so much wisdom! You answered all these questions with perfect grace.
I just have to say. This is a great example how someone like me is 30 years old can learn so much from a much younger woman. Mary Kate, this was beautiful and so SO needed to be read. Thank you so much for the wisdom and beauty you bring to the table every day. You help so many of us ladies, young or old. You’re definitely a woman that I very much admire. I pray that you and John Luke have many more wonderful adventures! God Bless! ❤️
“Theres never a perfect time to get married, theres always going to be something going on, you just have to decide when you want to do it then figure it out.” – I absolutely agree with John Luke! My husband and I got married one week after he graduated from the police academy, and two days later I had to leave for a business trip! That was crazy difficult, and now we’re two months in and he’s going through field training and I’ve still been traveling a lot for work. Real life doesn’t pause just because you get married – but it’s through those tough moments that you can choose to either grow closer or let things come between you. Marriage has been SO sanctifying, and I feel closer to the Lord than ever, because I feel more dependent on him than ever. At the same time, my husband is so very gracious to me when I mess up – he really makes sour sanctification sweeter!
When a couple connects early, they have the greatest potential to build a great life together. Raise your children, have fun together, encourage each other, pray with and for your children, and encourage your children to do the same. Then before you know it you might enjoy some grand children.
Y’all are so cute <3 I love reading your blog and I really appropriate the fact that you are always standing up for your Faith and giving God the glory. Never stop holding on to His perfect love! Congratulations on two years!!
Next month, my husband and I will celebrate 24 years of marriage. We were fairly young when we got married. I was 22 and he was a week from 20. I can’t imagine my life any other way. There have been hard times, any marriage has them, but growing up and now growing older together has been the best gift from God, apart from salvation of course. My husband is still my best friend. You words are spot on! Thank you for articulating them so well. I’ll be sharing your post with my 18 & 19 year old daughters. 🙂 Advice from an old married lady, keep laughing!
I also got married young and now we’ve been married for almost 8 years! Your post put into words what our marriage has been like and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else! There has been so much growth in our marriage and I am excited for the years, experiences, and growth to come. Thank the Lord that our life experiences are not in vain. They are all opportunities for us to gain more of the Lord and for him to gain more of us! Lord, gain us for your joy and your satisfaction!
We got married during college and it was so much fun! We’re in the working world now and there’s probably not another time we will get to do month long trips together or even just spend so much time together! It was such a sweet time – enjoy it. 🙂
Such wisdom from someone so young! I got married at 19 and my husband was 20. We just celebrated our 42 anniversary! God bless you both. Thank you for sharing your lives and your faith!
I really appreciate your words. I am 19 and engaged, and my fiancé and I will be married while still in college. I have learned to treasure the people who are excited for us and supportive of our decision to marry while young. We have a lot to learn, and we know that. I enjoyed reading about your journey.
My husband and I got married when I was 18 and he was 20. He was attending Penn State at the time. We had our first child within the year, miles and miles away from our families. Marriage requires work and dedication, no matter the age. This July we celebrated 18 years of marriage. We have 3 wonderful children, one of which is heading to college in the fall. I enjoyed reading your post, reminds me of us, years ago. You have the key to a long, successful marriage. Best wishes!
My husband and I got married at the age of 21– and we probably would have gotten married younger had we both not gone on missions abroad for a couple of years.
I personally am so grateful every single day that we found each other early on in our lives and that we get to grow old together.
Two claps for young marriages!
I love this! I got married when I was 19 and my feelings are the same! People often think marriage closes doors because you can’t date other people, but for me it opened SO MANY! Also it’s so fun to have a partner while going through the young adult stages (college, growing up, etc.). I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Loved this post!
–Emmy Coletti Blog
My husband & I are from WM, and when we heard you guys were getting married, we were overjoyed! We both got married a few weeks after high school, and we faced a lot of people’s criticisms & the basic struggles you mentioned. We both agree that we wouldn’t have it any other way – we love that we are growing up together, that we are learning & exposing issues together. It has made life such a fantastic adventure!
Thank you for posting! It is such an encouragement that I’m not the only one.
My husband & I started dating when I was 15 and he was 16. We where married at 19 & 20. 41 years later with 3 daughters & 7 grandchildren I wouldn’t change a thing.
Life is good & God is great!
[…] was inspired by Mary Kate Robertson’s blog (getting married young) about getting married young and the many questions that she was asked and her responses. It was […]
Love this!! My husband and I are both 20 and just celebrated our 1 year anniversary last week. I relate to this so much having been a 19 year old bride. I did a whole year of college single and lived the roommate life… married college is way, way more fun!! (and cheaper, thanks FAFSA!) And growing up together is what part of what makes being married so fun. We grow together. We build a home, a life, a family together. I just love this walk of life! You guys are inspiring.
Thank you so much for sharing this! It’s so amazing to see God working through your words & I appreciate your open heart about marriage!
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I have been greatly inspired by your story Mary Kate! Thank you for sharing and pouring your heart and soul into this blog. I’ve been greatly blessed by it 🙂 I also love the look of the blog, it’s beautiful!
As the mom of a 17 year old boy who has been madly involve with the same precious girl & Jesus since he was in the 6th grade, I thank you for very much for your words of wisdom and your insight. They face a lot of struggles from friends and family who think they are crazy for wanting to marry young, but one thing I see is their love for Jesus and their love for one another has never waivered. As a mama you want what is best for your children and sometimes that is difficult to navigate. My daughter Annie said you had written a blog post on this topic and I want you to know it has been very helpful & a blessing! I will pass it along to them & to his sweet girlfriends mama. Thank you for your honesty! Blessings to you!
Thanks so much for your kind words!
I’m 18 years old and I reread this blog and every post over and over again. The relationship you have with God is so powerful. My boyfriend of 4 years say down one day to tell me he was going to be rationed as an army reserve in Cuba. I fell apart. An hour later I prayed and I prayed that God would help and have his arms around the both of us. I’m not sure if you read these but I lost my mom at 10 years old. She talked about this love both she and God wanted for me. She talked about it like you talk about you and John Luke, I’m not sure if I 100% found that type of love. No relationship is easy. And you didn’t have to fight for them, it wouldn’t be worth it. Sometimes I feel like the guy I’m with isn’t the one. At other times I feel like there’s no one else who could compare to him. I’m not really sure if anyone really knows who is “the one”. Maybe it’s me. I want to know if you have this strong connection with God as we both do, why does it feel like at times the world is against you and I pray and open my heart more to God and they just go unanswered. But when at times nothing is wrong he listens and answers my prayers.
Hi Kimberly. I was reading the comments and I read yours and wanted to stop by to offer some encouragement to you. The Lord is a God who genuinely seeks a relationship with you which means He wants to see the good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t see Him as a parent who wants to punish you, but rather as a God who loves you and accepts ALL that you are when you come before Him. Often times, the times we feel like we don’t hear Him are the times we moved away, not Him.
Praying for you and I know I’m a complete stranger, but you matter.
I love this!!!
I love this!!!
I love this and it was exactly what I needed to read today! My fiancé and I are engaged at 18 and 19 and will be that age when we get married in September 2018. I’ve received all kinds of comments (good and bad) and sometime I get so tired of the opinions but I remind myself that God had this planned and there’s no changing it! I love my fiancé and I love the love we both share for the Lord and after getting married we plan on going into missions! We knew this wouldn’t be easy but we also knew this is exactly what we wanted and what God wanted for us!
I love see your marriage, I followed him from the beginning! I thank God for the testimony of both. I’m 22 years old and I have a lot of battles with my temper. I want to continue growing spiritually, learn about examples like this and some day, be ready for marriage. When I see all of this, I remember that God has a perfect time for every of her child’s.
God bless you a lot Mary Kate!
When we got married in college, my grades skyrocketed! It was great to come home to a wife who made life so good for a man.
Now after 9 kids & 13 grandkids and counting, I really mean it when I say I still feel like I’m still on my honeymoon!
culture. Marry young. You’ll not regret it.
My husband and I got married at 23 and 24, right after I finished college. Throughout our engagement, I was asked similar questions. Worst of all, I was asked when I was “due”. In my unchristian family, it was unheard of to get married especially to choose to get married without an unplanned baby on the way. Being married has been the best time of my life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! It’s so helpful to know others have experienced something similar.
Thank you for sharing with me!
Hi! So you mentioned something ab God wanting you and your partner to be equally yoked, but that the man is the spiritual leader in a relationship. Shouldn’t you and your partner be helping each other along, and your only leader in the relationship be Christ? This is how I think of it and just wondering your opinion!
Hi thanks for leaving a comment! Haha this is something I could probably talk for days on, but will keep what I believe in a nutshell here! When it says “equally yoked” in scripture I believe that means when I was choosing a spouse, I needed to be with someone who I was in the same place spiritually with. We both needed to be about on the same level of spiritual maturity. This is so we are spurring each other on! And I do believe in a marriage the husband is the spiritual leader and the wife is the helper. This doesn’t at ALL mean the wife is more immature or at all takes away from her worth. In fact, when God gives Eve to Adam, he uses the word “ezer” which means helper….WELL this word “ezer” is the same word God uses to describe Himself when he is helping and guiding the Israelites out of Egypt. So I’m like “how could I ever be mad about being a helper when thats the same thing God chose to be?!” I think it is so beautiful! So basically I think men and women are 100% equal in worth and value, but we are given different attributes of God that enable us to complement each other perfectly!! I just think it’s innately in men to lead, and I can say as a woman I love to feel protected and loved!! As the leader, the man should always be leading in LOVE…if he’s always doing the most loving thing possible for me, and I am choosing to respect him, then things will work so beautifully. I believe this is biblical and I can see it play out in my own marriage as well! HA so yes that was in a “not-so-small” nutshell. Hope this helps explain what I believe!
This is so lovely Mary Kate! I’m from Australia, met and married my guy at church, we weren’t as young as you, but we are 9 years in and have 3 children and I love the way you’ve written this, I can completely relate. All this time in, I can say I love this man more than I ever knew possible, God has been so gracious and I wouldn’t change a thing, love love being married and having a best friend for life. Children bring different growth and challenges, but the closeness they bring between the two of you and the things they teach you about the heart of God are precious. Love your writing, God has given you wisdom ???
Thanks so much for sharing this with me!! It sounds like such a beautiful story you guys have!! And thank you for your encouragement as well 🙂
Wow Mary Kate, I really love your photos and your article. I’m so glad there are other young couples like me out there who made the decision to marry young. It truly is a wonderful thing and a beautiful experience that not everyone will get to experience! Cherish it!
This is my story: http://www.tru.works/true-story-early-marriage/
I hope you can leave a comment and tell me what you think. I think we have the same reasons behind why we got married so young. Keep writing and sharing!
btw your story impressed me so much I linked to it in this article.
Thank you so much for sharing this inspired post. I came across it by chance today and I know that God led me to it. I have boyfriend that lives across the country this summer and I’m living with my parents for a couple of months. I’m only 18 and my boyfriend is 21. My parents constantly beat down on me for my relationship and when I told them that things have been getting serious and that we wanted a life together, it did not go down well at all. Reading your story today gave me so much hope and peace. It is so hard to live your own life when everyone else has such loud opinions that you want to respect, especially when it is your own family. We feel that God is pleased with our relationship and it hasn’t been easy trying to help people feel that for themselves. Don’t ever stop sharing your story! It is always good to remember that others have walked a similar path.
Thank you so much for this article. My boyfriend and I have known each other since 7th grade, but even though we’ve been off, on, friends, distance acquaintances, we’ve ALWAYS felt a pull back to each other. It’s been very hard but we’ve now been truly dating for almost a year. Everything we’ve gone through we believe God is calling us to marriage. His relationship with the Father has not always been there or easy, so we’ve taken to premarital counseling with my pastor and doing a spiritually guiding premarriage book. Never before in my life have him and I felt so connected! And we don’t care about age, but we’d like to be engaged by May possibly, before I ship out to the Army for 3.5 years. The only downside? It kinda feels like my parents in genera don’t believe being this young and discussing it is smart. I’ve had family members marry (and avoid divorce) at 16, 18, 20, 21, etc. and their belief in God is what’s prevented divorce. Is there any advice possibly? My mom is not overly close to God and even mentioning we have a ring picked out and half payed for she seemed irritated and like we were idiots. What Bible verses or books may help with this? I’m struggling to feel I can prove enough to my parents that Arrik is the one God is calling me to.