Looking
back on my life I just cannot help but praise the Lord for His faithfulness. It
is obvious how His hand has been upon me and a joy to see how He continually is
working all things for His glory and my good. He has been with me on the
mountain tops and the low valleys. He takes the low blows dealt by the enemy
and brings beautiful things out of them. I can look at the hardships from the
past and know that in the struggles to come He will never leave my side. John
Piper says, “In all your setbacks of your life as a believer God is plotting
for your joy.”
I’ve been a believer for as long as I can
remember. I grew up in the church and with parents as home telling me about
Jesus and praying with me since literally as far as my memory goes back. I
remember as a little girl wanting Jesus to live in my heart. Now I’m not sure
as to what degree I could understand and comprehend, but I did want that, and
as I grew my understanding of Him grew and turned into a relationship. Now I
suppose whenever that relationship started was when I would actually say I was
a follower, but that’s the thing, I don’t really know when that defining moment
was? Looking back on my life there are so many defining moments in my
faith. Maybe it was that first hardship in my life where my faith really did
become my own, I honestly don’t know, but that was the first time I really was
faced with deciding what I would do with my faith. That was in middle school.
My dad had been diagnosed with Lyme Disease when I was in 4th grade
and the reality of that sickness began to sink in as I got a little older. The
reality was my dad was feeling so bad that we were starting to fight and argue
and he wasn’t always able to do the things with me that we used to do. I
remember a specific time when he had to leave church early and my mom, sister, and
I came home and thought he was dying. I was in middle school and I didn’t have
anyone to talk to about this. No one understood. So I started talking to God.
It was a mixture of knowing I needed God, but also being mad at Him. So many “Why
God? Why’s”. I think this was the first time I had to decide if I would
continue to trust God, and I think that was also the first time I realized God
was the only one who would ALWAYS be there for me. And He was and He has been. Not
to say my situation got better when I decided to trust Him with it, it actually
got worse when my whole family was diagnosed, but my attitude and my heart was
better. Honestly sometimes I still will have “why?” moments, but it is always outweighed
by the truth He has given me in scripture and the good He has brought out of
it. I have always loved Jeremiah 29:11, ‘“For I know the plans I have for you”,
declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans for a future
and a hope.” I know this doesn’t mean I will have smooth-sailing for the rest
of my life, but it does mean He is ultimately working things out for my good,
but also my story is part of a bigger picture. I am reminded of that bigger
picture when I look at all the lives my dad has gotten to speak into and
witness to only because they have an illness in common! God has taken something
the devil meant for harm, and is continually bringing good out of it.
Another defining moment in my life
was my high school years. I had decided I wanted to hold out for whomever God
had for me when it came to dating. I told God I didn’t want to just date
around, but I wanted His best for my life. That waiting period was tough
though. I feel like it’s funny talking about it now, because I did get married
so young, but those 4 years of not dating in high school was hard. We look back
at high school and laugh because, well, it’s just high school, but those
feelings are still so real, and often so valid, even as a teenager. I struggled a lot with my worth
then…wondering why certain boys didn’t like me or wouldn’t date me? Was I not
pretty enough? Was I not funny enough? Skinny enough? Or was I too much. Too
loud at times? Too quiet at times? Too awkward? But during that time I grew so
much in my relationship with the Lord. I searched His Word to see what He
thought of me. I looked at His promises to remind me of how much He loved me
and how worthy He thought I was. He told me I was beautifully and wonderfully
made. He told me there was no flaw in me. And who was I to look at my Maker and
tell Him He was wrong? He showed me that I was worthy of a man of God, because He
showed me how much I was worth! God taught me I didn’t need a man to complete
me, because I was already complete in Him! It was at the point when I fully
surrendered not only my actions, but my desires to Him, that He brought a
God-fearing, young man into my life.
Another one of the biggest defining
moments in my life was my first year of marriage. Not only a defining, but
refining time. Looking back on it now the majority of my problems were coming
from health issues. Little did I know my birth control and my Lyme Disease were
getting the best of me. It was hard. It was the most confusing and painful time
of my life. It was so rough because what were actually health problems, I was
thinking were spiritual problems. This was a time of real soul-searching and
scripture-searching. I have never questioned my faith more. During a time when
my body and my mind didn’t feel like my own, it was a fight to believe what I
had always known to be true. But even in my doubt and confusion, God’s word was
the only thing I could go to for truth. Honestly I didn’t feel it to be true a
lot of the time, but I had to know in my heart it was true and remind myself. I had to proclaim
that truth in my life. God brought me through it and praise Him for that! I am
to the point today where I can thank Him for that valley, because it was a huge
growing time and He has revealed to me so much good He has brought out of it.
He also has proven Himself true once again, by sticking by my side throughout
the whole thing.
So
today, I just speak of God’s faithfulness in my life. He is good. He is sovereign.
And He is
working all things out for my good and ultimately His glory. He’s not
working for our happiness, but
for our holiness, and He’s teaching me that is
the moments of pain and sorrow that I am being made
Thank you for your reminder to wait for God's best! It's so tempting to take the easy route, but sometimes the hardest way is the best way. And we don't have to fear the future because He says that He is with us ALWAYS…From big decisions to little moments that you think are inconsequential. So, I will trust that He will bring me a man that fears God, even when I don't feel worth it.
Thank you so much for this reminder and much needed moment for me. Your testimony surly has touched me. My twenty year old brother just got diagnosed with cancer and I look now and see how faithful God has been to my family and I. He's there with my family and I through this valley. God is so faithful. Thank you for a great reminder. I love how God works!
reading your stories and insight never fails to inspire me. the way you walk in your faith and let god shine through you is truly beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us!! <3
Wow. <3 Thank you Mary Kate for sharing! This meant so much to me to read. Similarly, my testimony is filled with health issues and the battle of living with the pain from them. God is faithful to bring beauty from ashes!
Mary Kate, I was recently told that you had shared your testimony on Lyme and your faith and so of course I had to find your blog on them:) I myself suffer from something similar to Lyme Disease (it’s called relapsing fever borreliosis). I was diagnosed almost a year ago. My year before diagnosis was filled with confusion and time off work for something I knew was a major health issue. We were in our second year of marriage when I was diagnosed. To say the least, it has challenged my husband and I so much, but strengthens our relationship as well as our faith in Jesus. I started a blog (that I need to keep up on more) and I’m now able to share stories with some other going through something similar. God is SO good and SO faithful. Romans 8 helped me in my weakest times, spiritually and physically. I also remember how God is in the fire with us, never leaving us or foresaking us. It is in these times, we truly rely on Him and learn how to have faith. I also believe He opens our hearts and eyes to a better path for us. Just wanted to share 🙂 I will pray for your health and strength and marriage ❤️
Thank you for your reminder to wait for God's best! It's so tempting to take the easy route, but sometimes the hardest way is the best way. And we don't have to fear the future because He says that He is with us ALWAYS…From big decisions to little moments that you think are inconsequential. So, I will trust that He will bring me a man that fears God, even when I don't feel worth it.
I really like how you say "Gods best"..it really puts things in perspective!! Also love your sweater!!
what an incredible testimony!
thanks for sharing ❤
thanks for sharing your testimony! so beautifully written. and relatable!
Love Love Love!
Recently been going through some hard times with friends and this really helped!
Thank you so much for this reminder and much needed moment for me. Your testimony surly has touched me. My twenty year old brother just got diagnosed with cancer and I look now and see how faithful God has been to my family and I. He's there with my family and I through this valley. God is so faithful. Thank you for a great reminder. I love how God works!
God is so good! I love to hear about how He has worked in other peoples lives! God bless!
Mary Kate! This is amazing, thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed to hear it and look at things from a different point of view.
This is so beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing this <3
reading your stories and insight never fails to inspire me. the way you walk in your faith and let god shine through you is truly beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us!! <3
Wow. <3 Thank you Mary Kate for sharing! This meant so much to me to read. Similarly, my testimony is filled with health issues and the battle of living with the pain from them. God is faithful to bring beauty from ashes!
Thank you for your transparency. Reading this really blessed me! 🙂
Mary Kate, I was recently told that you had shared your testimony on Lyme and your faith and so of course I had to find your blog on them:) I myself suffer from something similar to Lyme Disease (it’s called relapsing fever borreliosis). I was diagnosed almost a year ago. My year before diagnosis was filled with confusion and time off work for something I knew was a major health issue. We were in our second year of marriage when I was diagnosed. To say the least, it has challenged my husband and I so much, but strengthens our relationship as well as our faith in Jesus. I started a blog (that I need to keep up on more) and I’m now able to share stories with some other going through something similar. God is SO good and SO faithful. Romans 8 helped me in my weakest times, spiritually and physically. I also remember how God is in the fire with us, never leaving us or foresaking us. It is in these times, we truly rely on Him and learn how to have faith. I also believe He opens our hearts and eyes to a better path for us. Just wanted to share 🙂 I will pray for your health and strength and marriage ❤️