Yesterday I had the honor and privilege of giving my testimony to the all-girls evangelism class at my school. It is about 400 girls and they are primarily freshman. And I am not sure why but I was SO nervous about it! It wasn’t my first time speaking, it wasn’t my first time in front of a large group of people, and normally I do not get nervous! But maybe it was the fact I was at my own school in front of my own people, even though I didn’t actually know any of the students. Regardless of what made me so nervous, I was.
When my dear professor asked me to do it I immediately said yes because I felt God pushing me to it. But afterwards I was like, “What did I just get myself into?!?”
The night before I was really asking God to take my fear away. I thought, “Who in the Bible was also afraid to speak?” Right away Moses came to mind. So I flipped my Bible opened to Exodus 3 where God appears to Moses in a burning bush and tells him to go and speak to Pharaoh. Moses’ immediate response is, “But who I am…?!?” And God comes right back at Him with, “But I will be with you…”
It was like God was speaking directly to me. But in my head it was spoken as more of a question.
“But, Mary Kate, I will be with you?”
Like He didn’t understand why I would even doubt Him.
And you know what? He doesn’t understand.
This was something I learned last year and my friend Rachel brought it up in Bible study last week:
“God will never, EVER, understand us not trusting Him.”
Now He does understand that we go through hard times…
Hebrews 4:15 says “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are– yet he did not sin.”
Jesus gets what we are going through. He knows that we live in a fallen world and understands that we are going through hard things and we are facing trials and we are tempted by things, but He will never say, “Oh I know it’s scary and I know its hard, so I totally get it if you don’t want to trust me on this one!!”
No, He doesn’t understand because He knows He is bigger, stronger, mightier than that thing we are facing.
God is with us. He is ALWAYS with us.
This summer I read a book called, “Fervent” (incredible, change-your-life kinda book, by Priscilla Shirer…everyone go get it today) and it changed my whole prayer life. Used to my prayers would be like “God please be with me as I do this” or “God, please be with ______ as they go through that hard time.” But the truth of the matter is, God is always with us…we don’t have to ask Him. So now my prayers are “God, please help me to keep in constant focus the truth and reality that You are always with me”, or “God, help them to realize that you are always right by their side and have already fitted them with everything they need to fight off the blows of the enemy.”
Earlier this week I posted on my Instagram about going out on a limb. I started to realize the only thing that was holding me back from things was fear. I had to take a look at myself and see what my fears were rooted in…
Was I afraid of what people would think?
Was I afraid of failing?
Did I think I was just inadequate?
But everything starts to change when we shift our focus on God and say to Him, “I know You are with me and I have nothing to be afraid of.”
Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; whom shall I be afraid?”